10. Peter Reid comes back.
9. It’s revealed the Smith transfer is a swap deal: Leeds get £1m, plus Phil Neville and Diego Forlan.
8. Oil found under Elland Road; George Bush invades to liberate Leeds fans from "vile dictator" Gerald Krasner, with 200,000 troops, 500 tanks, 790 helicoptors, and a polaroid camera…
7. Howard Wilkinson returns……brandishing a dusty copy of Charles Hughes’ FA coaching manual.
6. Seth Johnson and Michael Duberry pledge their futures to the club.
5. Leeds United announces name change to: 'The Yorkshire Branch of the Manchester United Talent Spotting Academy'.
4. Stan Boardman booked for a morale-boosting post-season seminar.
3. Mark Viduka is sold without having technically asked for a transfer, so is due "loyalty bonus": he takes all the balti pies.
2. At the 11th hour, Leeds snatch Emile Heskey from under the nose of Birmingham City.
1. The new season starts.
| Thanks To Martin Kelner for this Top Ten List. Martin Kelner is a columnist with The Guardian and presents Kick Off With Kelner (a daily sports show on BBC Radio Leeds). |
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| Listen to Kick Off With Kelner on BBC Leeds |